LJ’s Corner: Don’t Walk Backwards

LJ’s Corner—Ponders From In and Out of My Mind

Don’t Walk Backwards…

Seems like common sense to not walk backwards. We do it anyway. I learned the hard way this is not a good idea. Noticing that my pool cage was quite dirty and apparently the permanent home of various tiny critters, I decided to grab my power washer and pulverize it all.  Now this contraption is painfully hefty, but, hey, superwoman in charge here! LJ

Earbuds screwed in and I’m plugged into my favorite music as I jollily moved along the periphery of the cage. By the way, I am anal about detecting and eliminating every speck of dirt. Well, therein was my undoing. As I was trudging along, I realized a couple of little buggies still stuck in the cage panel behind me. So backward I walked, missing a step I forgot was there, and down I went with the power washer plopping on top of me. I lay prone on my left side. 

Inventory was quick and certain. My left wrist, left foot and my left hip were clearly not working well. Hmmm…now what? Oh, did I mention I was in my bathing suit sunning just before this gnat-sneeze idea to clean the cage hit me? Was I concerned about my potentially broken bones? Oh no. I was concerned about being found in a bathing suit! I’m guessing you women get my thinking here. Without further ado (I hate that phrase), I got myself up and into the house. 

I slowly slid off my bathing suit and painfully crept into jeans and a T-shirt. Now the pain was increasing. I knew I had little time to collect important stuff — you know, handbag, wallet, and of course, lipstick. After completing that little task, questions and “what ifs” began flooding my aching head. What if there’s a hospital stay involved? Who will watch the house? Who will  take out the garbage? Who will  remember to pay my mostly overdue bills? And, oh dear lord, what if somebody discovers my unmade bed? My mother always told me that’s the first thing you should do every morning, but did I listen? Well, not this day. 

It’s curious what goes through your head in an emergency situation. But let me get to the finality of this one. A good neighbor took me to Urgent Care where I was calmly told I had a fractured hip, a fractured foot and a broken wrist. The good news was no surgery required, just an inelegant black cast on my left wrist. The foot and hip, they told me, would heal in time. Well, after five months of rehab and being on a walker, then a cane, I finally healed to tell this story.  How I navigated through those months is a column yet to come. But I will tell you this, I immediately had my master bathroom remodeled for easy access to my shower.  Before that, it was clearly a Looney Tunes comedy routine.

LJ’s black castHere’s my takeaway. Never leave my bedroom with an unmade bed (not a pretty sight — I tend to wrestle big game in dreamland). Secondly, I will have a “go bag” packed with essentials, and, yes, that includes makeup. Hey, I’m single, you never know! And, like most mothers, mine warned me to wear decent underwear in case of an accident. Boy was she right. So I will be properly clad before attempting my next superwoman task. Nah, more likely I’ll hire a professional. But lastly and most importantly… don’t walk backwards!

About the columnist: LJ Bury is a resident of Copperleaf at The Brooks with a diverse background including stints as creator/editor of a fine arts magazine, a political blogger and a talent coordinator. LJ’s Corner tells the stories of everyday life, with all its joys, frustrations and ponders.

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Ponder to Blow Your Mind:

Can rational thought exist without language?

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